Thursday, February 2, 2012

Singing in the Rain

Have y'all heard this song?
It's Lady Antebellum singing Need You Now. Let's all listen and get our groove on. 

I expect that every one of you is bobbing your head to the tune, maybe even singing along since it was seriously overplayed for a while there. Quite possibly it was terribly catchy and popular for a reason, since this particular YouTube link has over nine million hits.

The lyrics are pretty country-typical with 

I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone and I need you now

Said I wouldn't call but 
I've lost all control and I need you now

And so on... Sweet, right? They're separated for some reason but obviously still in love. I picture one of them wandering the streets of Paris looking lost and sad, the other sitting in the window seat of a New York City apartment, both staring at the same starry sky (kind of like Feival in An American Tail but less furry and more romantic).

And then.

Another shot of whiskey
Can't stop looking at the door

Oh. He's drinking. My vision changes to an Orange County Beach and some guy with a three day bead sitting on a stool in a dark stinky bar.

I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one 
and I'm a little drunk 
and I need you now

Oh. They're horny. Well... it happens. And now I'm picturing the chick sprawled in a vintage circa 1972 floral print couch and the guy sitting in his car with a half-drunk box of Costco wine on the seat next to him. Suddenly, this is less romantic and more pathetic.

The song goes on and whatever. I lose interest (although I heard this song about nine hundred times before I clued in to what was going on).

Now, keep all of that in your head.

Remember back to when Elle and I went to the Porn Store to meet our parents?

One small detail I left out was that my niece, my five year old niece, requested a song.

Niece 5: Mom? Um, can we hear I'm a Little Drunk and I Need you Now? Because I really just like that song.

I believe what you are hearing is a high-pitched scream that is exploding from my entire body.

I didn't judge my sister too harshly (though Elle would claim that I brought it up constantly over the next week and questioned every parenting move she made and basically called her a terrible person and that I threatened to install a nanny-cam but she's a compulsive liar).

I pretty much had no response when she brought up my 5's favorite song from when she was two.

CPS Note: I never once let her see the video. She just listened to the song. Have you ever seen a baby boogie to this? It's hilarious! If my hard drive hadn't crashed I'd post the video to prove it. Looks like you're going to have to take my word for it.


BunrattyBroad said...

I'm glad you went ahead and disclosed the Gaga horrors, because it saves me time. We're BOTH terrible mothers! High Five!

Unknown said...

*five* We're going to hell.