Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Things are not as they seem

Last night Elle, Blogz and I were sprawled out on the couch watching 9 to 5, this terrible movie starring Jane Fonda, Dolly Parton and Lily Tomlin. I think it was filmed in the early 1980s.

I began to nod off, as I'm prone to do when I'm parked in front of a weird movie at 10:30pm when I should be sleeping or writing a blog post.

Instead of getting up and heading to bed, I chose to lay there half asleep and pretend like I was finishing the movie. I think it was about the time the girls stole their boss' body from the hospital that I felt something fiddling with my hair.

Hang on.

Do you guys have brothers? Sisters? Doesn't matter if they are older or younger; if they were there, you screwed with them. Or they screwed with you. Someone was always the butt of a joke and the other was crying. There were six of us kids in the house growing up and Mumsie can attest to the fact that we were constantly either trying to set one another on fire or simply scare the bejeezus out of someone.

I figured Elle had noticed I was in limbo and had decided to pull my hair in order to roust me.

But oh, I would prove to her that I wasn't conked out on the couch (which I totally was).

I took my palm and in one sprightly movement, slapped Elle's hand away.

Her furry, whiskery... face?

Petey?

Oh, SHYTE.

I totally punched my cat.

On accident, of course.

He sat there staring at me for minutes until he lay down next to Elle, all the while keeping a close watch on me.

I am certain that he is going to come after me when I least expect it.

Probably when I actually am asleep.

Oh well. If he bites me, he'll just get The Herp.

(I'm really hoping that if you haven't already read that post, you will now)

BTW, Abreva claims to reduce the appearance of cold sores in 2 days or so (or maybe I just made that up. Or Elle said it. Who really knows). I will have you know that it has been SEVEN days and I can still see it. Though it just looks like someone punched me in the lip and split it, as Elle described.

Ironic, if you think about it.
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