Saturday, April 21, 2012

Cure-all for Boredom

It is the weekend, y'all!

And judging by the inaccurate weather report, we will NOT have sun today. Instead we will remain indoors and stare blankly out the windows at the rain while the tears slide down our sad, sad faces.

Or the kids will. I will be writing a strongly worded letter of irritation to the cosmos (I would say God, but um, no. I'm already in enough trouble with him and I do not need to make it worse).

Earlier this morning, I was subpoenaed by a friend to cure his boredom.

Normally, I charge for this (wait. No. NO. I mean...nevermind).

Erm, so normally I tell people to cure their own dang boredom, but since the promise of great weather by the local idiot was not a pinkie promise, but instead an incredibly off-base guess, I figure I would need some kind of cure-all for my own fine household today.

I Google'd "Things to do when you are bored that do not include housecleaning or paying bills" and came up with a few sites.

The first was a total dud, apparently written by someone who has an unnatural love of marbles. Seriously. A few of their suggestions:

  • Boil Marbles
  • Have a marble competition
  • Polish your marbles
  • Look at your marbles
I had my own idea about this person's marbles.

The next website I hit on was a total goldmine. You guys have to check this out.

474 Things To Do When You're Bored.

I've decided on a few that I think will cure boredom:

  • Knight yourself (I really am an amazing person. This would just ensure that everyone knows)
  • Intimidate a piece of chalk (WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?)
  • Run for Pope (I like being in high ranking positions)
  • Count to a million (fast) (That one is for my kids)
  • Stop speaking to yourself (actually, my therapist recommended this)
  • Be a side effect (this could go in SO many directions)
  • Ask stupid questions (wellll... I already do that)

You get the point.

Hey, look. The sun is out!
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