Friday, April 13, 2012

Your Garden Variety Mistake

So. Today I was totally going to wow Shenanigan and Rawr with my amazing recipe for Sweet Potato Fries.

(And by "mine" I mean "I stole this.")

Fortunately I had everything on hand because Elle is my domestic servant  personal shopper  b*tch  compatriot   sister  chum I MADE HER GO TO THE STORE.

She returned from the grocers with a can of chipotle peppers instead of chipotle powder. Elle hates dehydrated-anything, but I figured it wouldn't be too far off and if the fries sucked, I would make her drink the pepper liquid from the jar.

.This afternoon I set about scrubbing the potatoes, mixing the spices and telling my 5 that no, you cannot stay home alone while I go visit Shenanigan because you are FIVE and if you don't get off the coffee table I will BRAIN YOU.

Now. Remember back when I said I used to manage a fast food establishment (rhymes with Murder Fling)? Yeah. So even though I love to cook, I lived in that restaurant and had limited experiecne cooking anything other than ground beef and tempers.

Plus, I really never used to experiment with recipes. I kept my favorite (only) recipes and just rotated them around in hopes that no one would notice.

Recently, in the last year since I quit my job and moved to the freaking Water Capital of the Universe, I expanded my knowledge and started trying all different kinds of recipes with different ingredients, some of which I'd never even eaten before.

I was pretty stoked to try this Sweet Potato recipe because they are a healthy junk food. Yay! Also, I'd never eaten sweet potato anything and was excited about my decision to branch out.

I was in the middle of chopping the last potato and nervously checking the first batch that was already in the oven when my friend Lucy dropped by (no. It's not her real name).

Lucy: What're you making? [sniffs] It smells really good.

Me: [smugly] Oh, just Sweet Potato Fries. Something I just decided to whip up. [BEAMS]

Lucy: [examining the potato on the counter] Oh. What are you using the yams for?

Me: [falters] Uh. What?

Lucy: [starts laughing hysterically] These are yams!

Me: Yams?

Lucy: [gasping for breath] You.. ho.. hee... ah... haaa--

Me: DAMNIT!

So, yes. I delivered to Shenanigan one bowl of spicy Yam Fries. But shut your mouths because I totally made up an awesome chipotle sauce to go with them. On my own. I did NOT have help and Shenanigan's two year-old totally scarfed them down.

So. Elle is fired and I am now accepting applications for a new personal shopper.

Any takers?
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