Tuesday, February 12, 2013

I'm not really a team player.

Okay, so I had one of those weird days where I almost murdered a man. I didn't, though. All of you should know this before everyone starts getting weirded out. I didn't kill him. But I wanted to.

Let me back up.

In one of my classes, we take quizzes every Tuesday. First, we take the quiz independently (remember this word, because later on you'll get why I was yelling) and then we break into groups and go over the answers & discuss differing answers as needed before going over it as a class with an answer key. Our group then submits the corrected Group Quiz for a score.

(Also, you should know I had to fill some credits so please don't make me tell you why we're talking about independence. Or why we have to define it. Although, for SOME JACKASSES IT WAS NECESSARY. I digress)

What happened was, we took the quiz, all multiple-choice. We are currently studying what it means to be dependent, interdependent, codependent and independent. I mean really, how can you screw that up?

You all know what those mean, right? Right. Because it's BASIC COMMON KNOWLEDGE. Especially if you read the freaking textbook.

The following event is a true and accurate portrayal of massive stupidity. Read at your own risk.

Wrong Answer Guy: I answered C. Independent means you rely on others.

Me: [snort]

WAG: What?

Me: [blink] Oh, my God. I thought you were kidding. No. Independent means you rely on no one. It's all you.

WAG: No. [moves on] For codependent I put A. Means you do everything yourself.

Me: Dude, back up. No. It doesn't. It means you give and give everything so that everyone else-

WAG: You're wrong.

Me: [OH. HELL. NO.] Um. No. I'm not.

WAG: This is the definition from the BOOK, not as it applies to real life. You have the answer wrong.

I'll save you all the details, but I respectfully argued with this guy for the entire ten minutes we had to go over the quiz until I got so pissed I almost kicked him in the shin. Even the instructor came over to listen, standing behind the guy and shaking her head at me because the rest of the group took his side and everyone was telling me I was wrong. I was really confused as to how four other grown adults couldn't define those four terms. The teacher asked us to hurry and go over the rest of the questions, two more of which that guy told me I had wrong.

Forgot to mention I was the recorder for the group so when we started correcting them as a class I said eff it, I'm not changing my answers and kept what I had.

Can you imagine the look on WAG's face when the correct answers matched my answers? And we scored 100%? Instead of a massive failure?

You may think that he would turn around and sheepishly apologize. Or even just ignore me out of utter shame.

No.

Because at the end of class, WAG followed me into the hall and proceeded to argue with me some more.

SERIOUSLY? Hey, Asshole. You were wrong before, you're still wrong, and you'll always be wrong, so stop talking.

Only, he was pissed that I hadn't changed the answers. DUDE. I saved the group from failing the quiz and he wants to argue because I didn't DO AS HE SAID?

Excuse me but 1952 called and laughed at 2013 for getting stuck with their opinionated anti-woman asswipe.

I told him that having been 150% certain of my answer AND GETTING IT RIGHT kind of justified my defiance of some guy I'd never talked to before.

He asked me if I wanted to go to the coffee hall and discuss it further.

I think time screeched to a halt at that point.

Say what.

All I could think was, Did that really just happen?

Is this normal? Do people actually do this or have I been out of the loop so long that I'm completely lost?

I was so fired up at this point that I may have shot off at the mouth and told the guy I've never wanted to junk-punch anyone more than I want to right now and stood there for a moment (I guess maybe contemplating whether or not it would be worth it) before walking away.

He called after me, See you Thursday.

It gets better. I did not get a parking ticket. But. I did almost get hit by two different cars on my way home.

One of them came flying out of a gas station into the highway while looking right, but turning left and I swear my car went right through him, but I guess I only left half my tires on the ground while managing to avoid him. The huge truck behind me flew around my car in order to avoid hitting me, then paced me for a while before giving me a thumbs up (random, but o.k.) and driving on.

The other idiot close call was the same stupid thing four miles later, only from the opposite direction.

I arrived home so keyed up, I swear to God I could have bench-pressed a Buick.

I felt like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Gross.
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