I have this friend. He likes to start stuff. You know what I'm talking about, right? The guy who finds himself just a teensie bit bored and decides to eff with people just for his own amusement. Situations of this type usually end with me storming off in a huff while everyone else in the room laughs at my receding form because I can never adequately defend myself. It's really a terribly embarrassing thing to witness.
Sometimes, I can take it. Like when an entirely different person would not drop the fact that he has something terrible against poultry. I was able to carry on with a good sense of humor. Him? Not so much.
So. Back to the first friend. Earlier today I posted this photo on my Facebook Wall. Notice anything a little off?
The Friend in question commented that "the bedstand is crooked."
Huh. It is not. I looked at the photo. I zoomed in. Whatever. Peeps, I built this thing myself, remember? I almost ended up in prison.
So I disagreed. He countered that it was so crooked.
I put the laptop on the bed and stood up (cracked my head on the ceiling. Ow. I knew that a-hole bed wasn't like royalty, but more like a school-yard bully).
I faced the headboard and looked to the left, to the left (you know you all immediately turned into Beyonce wanna-be's and hummed along) . Nope. Straight. I looked to the right of the bed. Straight there, too.
I sat on the bed and pulled the laptop over, typing in that the bed frame was fine. Friend said the nightstand was crooked, or some crap. I'm still not even sure exactly what item he was referring to. Bedstand, bed SIDE TABLE.... There was not even a nightstand in the photo, really. Then there may have been an argument over whether or not there was a nightstand at all, he tried to make me break my arm and possibly an ankle by trying to get me to kick the nightstand, I pointed out that everything in my room is placed haphazardly and not straight (the frame itself is set about two inches off the wall because I forgot to move it before I shoved the mattress and box spring onto the frame). It was all very intense.
I learned something, though. Never post a freaking picture of your kid on Facebook.
OH! Also. You'll be pleased to know that Tammy is getting married THIS WEEKEND! So yes, I'm freaking out about the heat in California, excited that there will be sunshine, a little nervous that I will spend Friday getting sunburned like a lobster so that I can have sweet fry-lines in Tammy's wedding photos. Also pretty worried that I will drive 14 hours and realize I left my brides maid dress at home, or that even if I do remember to bring the dress that I will trip over a squirrel during the ceremony and end up sprawled on grandpa's lap with my skirt over my head or some other gawd-awful situation. Tammy, if you're reading this, everything will be FINE! Hah! (Ohmigawd no it won't!)
Pray for me. Or at least start some kind of betting pool about which situation listed above actually happens.