Saturday, April 27, 2013

Pinky and the Brain had a plan...

O-kay.

So I want to overthrow the United States Postal Service.

And I need you to help me.

Why? I will tell you.

Because I have the Anger of Injustice burning in my heart (or whatever it is Ginger's have in place of a heart) and I don't really have time to devise an appropriate plan to bring that horrible, terrible, piece of crap organization to its knees while someone punches it in the back.

Hey, that's kind of a plan.

But I need a BETTER one.

Why, you ask.

Remember when they stole and desecrated my mail?

And I swore revenge and promised never to use their (dis)service ever, ever again?

I sort of forgot about continuing education and my explicit need to order those overpriced textbooks online.

I tried to get the seller to deliver via FedEx or UPS, but the freaking fools are so dang fast they had it shipped about two hours before replying to my request.

Jerks.

Anyway, so now the USPS has confiscated my textbook (for Philosophy, which, HELLO, is not a class I can wing based on my own knowledge).

They have had it at their central processing plant for ten days (it shipped a month ago), and after having called about six people, the end result was a bunch of excuses.

USPS: Gee, we just have no way of FINDING it at the plant.

Me: How about this tracking number I gave you?

USPS: No.

Me: Are you effing KIDDING ME? What is the point of a tracking number if you can't do anything with it?

USPS: W can locate your package with it.

Me: Okay. So find it.

USPS: It's not that simple.

Me: THEN WHY DO YOU GIVE TRACKING NUMBERS?

USPS: You sound really mad.

I hate them. I don't hate often, but when I do, I want REVENGE.

Band together with me, Peeps.

Take whatever stamps you have and shove them....

No. I tell you what.

Email. Use your phone. Text. DO EVERYTHING EXCEPT MAIL SOMETHING.

Wait, what? Everyone does that anyway? Fine.

I hope they fold.

In FLAMES.

(This is not a threat. Or anything that can have me arrested or imprisoned or be made into anyone's bitch or have a felony or stuff like that)

(Unless you can't do anything about my complaining and THEN IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG, MOTHEREFFERS!)

Post a Comment