Say, hypothetically, that you have a 10 year old boy.
And, hypothetically, that the 10 year old boy takes after you and has the worst case of Sweet Tooth ever seen on God's green earth.
What, pray tell, does one do when said boy steals a case of Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies from his sister and proceeds to EAT THEM ALL?
I am not kidding, guys.
As most of you know, my 9 is in Brownies. Rawr's daughter is a Junior Girl Scout. Last night, both girls were upstairs when I heard a thump, a couple of gasps and frantic whispering.
Him: [clears throat]
Me: [staring, eyes boring holes into his little brain] BOY.
Him: [looks at me, looks away. Looks back] Yes, Mother?
Boy: I have no idea what happened here.
It appears that my 10 had taken an ENTIRE CASE of cookies and hid them (we're talking 12 boxes of cookies. 28 cookies to a box. That's about 336 cookies. IN A TEN YEAR OLD.)
From that case he consumed 3 boxes. And then I found 3 more. Add in the other 2 boxes I found a few days ago and I'm pretty sure that comes out to 1,056 cookies.
When I put him in the interrogation room (which is pretty much just my living room with the overhead light on) and proceeded to grill him about what the crap he thought he was doing and that taking those cookies from a CHARITY was called stealing and that cookies can kill you, he broke down in tears and told me, "I'm just so addicted to those delicious cookies, Mom!"
I tried not to laugh and kept my composure. I asked him why he took a case and hid it under his bed.
I didn't, Mom!
They wouldn't fit under my bed. So I put them under the 5's bed.
Oh. MY MISTAKE.
The child is already grounded for refusing to complete his homework last week.
So I ask you, dear readers. What do I do to this child to make him understand?
Also, I locked up all of the cookies in Elle's room.
And, as this was going to press (heh) the 9s found three more boxes under the 10s bed. Apparently, they were from before the last shake-down we had.
Obvoiusly, I've already made him pay for the initial boxes he took. The last 3 boxes I charged him $10 a box. The $6 surcharge goes toward the mental health care that I'm going to need after this.
Do I take away every one of his favorite foods and make him eat dry cereal and broccoli?
Do I send him to reform school?